why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
