I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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