Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
