8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
how drunk are you?
Several
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
