He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Did I show you my penis last night?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
