I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
