he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My ATM looks so different sober.
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I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
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I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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