my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
