your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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