You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
