I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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