are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
