please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
