Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize