How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize