Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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