you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
