So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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