Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"

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  (310): i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto" http://tfl.nu/o359
  Replies (18) Good night (566) Bad night (4359) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?

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  (603): So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'? http://tfl.nu/2o2u
  Replies (26) Good night (796) Bad night (3624) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.

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  (785): if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone. http://tfl.nu/lyyb
  Replies (31) Good night (765) Bad night (4598) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?

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  (508): There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun? http://tfl.nu/av48
  Replies (17) Good night (4719) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.

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  (952): Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage. http://tfl.nu/guje
  Replies (15) Good night (862) Bad night (4050) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.

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  (678): If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class. http://tfl.nu/m667
  Replies (20) Good night (4262) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.

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  (616): I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico. http://tfl.nu/ms4f
  Replies (8) Good night (4903) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.

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  (864): I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe. http://tfl.nu/olye
  Replies (8) Good night (737) Bad night (2323) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.

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  (586): apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that. http://tfl.nu/dpbh
  Replies (13) Good night (7517) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this

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  (214): Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this http://tfl.nu/7qd9
  Replies (11) Good night (1256) Bad night (3873) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.

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  (608): you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude. http://tfl.nu/1uv4
  Replies (5) Good night (2347) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

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  (724): you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right http://tfl.nu/sfkm
  Replies (20) Good night (4569) Bad night (1740) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.

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  (707): We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it. http://tfl.nu/1jar
  Replies (2) Good night (2285) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.

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  (512): I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25. http://tfl.nu/95s1
  Replies (7) Good night (769) Bad night (1443)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  You always know what to say to make me feel better.

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  (870): If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you. (1-870): You always know what to say to make me feel better. http://tfl.nu/or61
  Replies (2) Good night (1623) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt

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