Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?