Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
