When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
