she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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