I can tuck mytits in my pants
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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