Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
tell me about the fingering
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
