You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
