Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The ass gains better be worth it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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