College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice