I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today