So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...