this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.