Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.