I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.