Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He shit in the fireplace
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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