You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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