I puked a lego.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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