Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
