so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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