so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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