the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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