So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
where are you?
Hypothermia
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
