If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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