I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I AM VODKA MAN
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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