i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
