i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
