my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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