After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize