if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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