Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
