Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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