I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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