when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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