You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
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He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
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Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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