I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize