I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
