Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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