and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
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woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
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I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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