How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize