I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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