Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
