Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
