you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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