i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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